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Archive for 30. March 2008

Incarcerated Family

How many have Incarcerated family members? I have some and I bet you do as well. What got some to prisons and other institutions as such are 1 and any number of other reasons.

It is a difficult decision to tell children that a family member, particularly a parent, is incarcerated. Parental shame or fears that your child will think less of the incarcerated family member can interfere with appropriate discussions. While it is ultimately a parent’s or care giver’s decision to inform the children, there are several issues that must be considered. Here are some hints:

If children are not given an answer or a plausible explanation, they may fantasize their own explanation to fill the void. Children may blame themselves and feel that they have done something wrong that contributed to the incarcerated parent being absent.

Children are also smart. While they can be convinced that the incarcerated parent or family member is in the hospital, working for the government, on vacation, or in school, the child may become mistrustful or confused by the discrepancy between what they are told and what they experience. Additionally, it is better for a child to find out that a family member is in prison from a care giver rather than in the school yard or in the media.

What a SECRET for a child to carry. Are you secretly hiding the real reason a family member is not around? Are you married to someone incarcerated? Would you like to share?

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